Sooo I learned a lot these past two days how one should learn effectively, by making study plans and organizing and doing things early and shit for this final I have in an hour....The irony of it all it burns my eyes.

I just see myself in 10 years trying to get my students to do their homework effectively and feeling like the biggest hypocrite there ever was... oh well.

Now just hoping all the random knowledge I crammed into my head will actually help me pass this stupid exam (Why can't I get passing marks for my truly extensive knowledge of etiquette in fandom for example? That is stuff I totally know!)

Feeling especially fat and ugly today. Where the fuck is my knight in shining armor anyway. le sigh. Bah tomorrow I'll feel better about it I suppose and its a horribly stupid girly problem anyway (fuck you media btw, fuck you very much). Just how is one supposed to pick up/flirt with guys for an ego boost when you feel like everyone will turn you down anyway, because you weigh 10 kilo over the beauty standard. Its a stupid cycle of stupid, which is wrong and just self pitying, but can't help myself somtimes.

In other news, YGO fandom get off your ass and produce something readable I'm begging you. Sometimes I get in the mood and 90% of what you have to offer I don't even get to the back button, because the summary already tells me that I will have no desire to read your stupid Mary Sue/mpreg/author insert/badly written mess.

Now I'm going back to procrastinating my procrastination and watching a guy  in the shadows talk about bad pop music

What it says on the tin...

arghhh I seriously, seriously detest being depressed, especially as this time its something I could easily solve, if I just sat down on my ass to write the paper that has been overdue for nearly 6 months but as my auditions are not going well I think I'm just sabotaging myself here

I HATE MY BRAIN!!!

so in other news Sherlock is awesome, I'm working on a Hawaii Five-0 fanvid because clearly this is a good idea *headdesks* and leupagus  is doing an awesome write together in which I actually participated...which is odd because my writing is really not all that good....but I was tired, anyway lots of other awesome people writing stuff^^

Also I made a post on misspamela 's love meme here because I'm sadface today

Anyway I hope that was enough whining to vent a bit, sorry to anyone actually reading this ;)